yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
