Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I think my moral compass just broke
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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