We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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