Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
