I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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