If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
