the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
