hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
