Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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