D3 body, D1 cock
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Randomize
