Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
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