Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.