I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
