i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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