I'll bet she douches with gravy.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
