I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
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