Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(270): View more from Kentucky

He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."

(1-270): View more from Kentucky

Does God suck his dick?

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(910): View more from North Carolina

You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.

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(314): View more from Missouri

Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?

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(443): View more from Maryland

You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

Is she still in your room?

(1-978): View more from Massachusetts

Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.

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(479): View more from Arkansas

PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.

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(307): View more from Wyoming

You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no

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(720): View more from Colorado

Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?

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