i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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