I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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