my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
