im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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