dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I will pee on everything he values.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
