I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
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Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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