I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize