Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
