Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
