Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Randomize
