Are we in a gay sports bar?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
