Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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