If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Randomize
