can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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