Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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