well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
i've created a new STD.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize