told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
