But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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