Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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