Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
