I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
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Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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