I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
