...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
