He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
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