Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
