He kissed a someone with a penis
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
