my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
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