you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Randomize
