i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
