i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize