i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
