I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Randomize
