I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
