white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
