why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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