no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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