Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
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