I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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