at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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