i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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