sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
