i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
he high fived his dick after we had sex
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
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