I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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