All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
